Lovers Lost: Go To Sleep
by Lavande
Summary: When Glory's more furious than ever and Drusilla's doll's are dancing, a certain Vampire is in trouble. Especially when a new old enemy comes to town. Completed, corrected and rated R for the last chapter
1. Part One Gaining Strength

Part One - Gaining Strength

"Damn him!"

Glory stomped around her apartment, furious.

"How could he dare! How could he dare _lying_ to me! The nerve!" she screeched, throwing a marvelous vase against the far wall. Her minions hovered around her, trying to calm the goddess they all feared.

"He was nothing, most pleasant one," one of them managed to say. Only to follow the vase.

"And _you_ let him get away!" Her finger shot out, pointing at Jinx. He ducked, smiling desperately. "I should kill you for this insult! Right now, he's probably in some alley drinking off a human!" The enraged goddess was blazing with anger.

"Most unlikely, oh glorious one," Jinx croaked as she grabbed him by his cowl. "There is something inside his head that prevents him from doing harm…" His voice trailed off, and she tossed him aside. After a few steps forward, she turned, and looked at him.

"Inside his head?"

"Yes!" he panted. "A chip. Whenever the vampire attacks a mortal being, pain is caused instantly, oh... wonderful one," he ended lamely.

But Glory didn't notice. Her eyes had started to glimmer. "A chip," she whispered, a broad smile appearing on her lips. She might be weak in this world, but she still had _some_ powers. As long as she knew exactly where to look… She turned to the high windows, and concentrated. _His pathetic crypt was over there…_

She sensed the vampire. He was not moving, that made it easier for her. She concentrated. As much as she loved ordering her brainless little fools around, some things you just had to do by yourself.

"What about a little experiment, precious?" she whispered, and snapped her fingers. Inside the chip, electricity found new ways to flow.

Glory giggled.

***

Spike was lying on his sarcophagus. He hadn't moved much since the Slayer's last visit, which had in fact been only a few hours ago. Now night had fallen, but the vampire lay still. He missed his robot. If he wanted blood now, he'd have to go and get it himself. One disadvantage among other things he missed about it. Taking care of him was another.

He sighed. The wounds would heal, if only slowly. Still, he wouldn't have minded if somebody had fixed them. Some blood was what he needed right now. Then he would lie back, and let his vampiric healing work its way.

The vampire stood up, and staggered over to his fridge, taking up a leather-bound book along the way. He needed some diversion from the pain. _Damn the bloody Slayer and her baby sister,_ he thought. _Should've killed them long ago. Less trouble by now._ A sharp pain inside his head made him flinch. Great. Now the headache started. 

***

Sunnydale hadn't changed much. In fact, it hadn't changed at all. He didn't know why that surprised him so much. Perhaps because so many things in his life had become different that he wondered why the world took no notice. The only thing that seemed to rise people's interest was the army uniform he was still wearing.

Riley sighed as he walked the familiar streets in the early Californian night. He had seen the first stars rise as the helicopter had landed outside the town. Graham had been there. 'Are you sure about this?' he had asked. And Agent Riley Finn had answered with a clear 'Yes".

He had lied. He wasn't sure about anything. Back in the jungle, it had been different. When they had eliminated those demons. His return to the convenient black-and-white pattern that had been his life since the Initiative. Perhaps even earlier. He didn't need to think about vampires then, neither the one he distasted nor those he needed. Or even consider the idea of demons living along with humans. It had been so easy then. But somehow, it hadn't been enough. So Riley had come back. And the only thing he was sure of now was that he missed her.

He didn't know how Buffy would take his return, though. She hadn't come for him the night he left, so probably she didn't want him around anymore. The memory of that disgusted look on her face when he had last seen her made him wince. 

But he was going to try. He was not going to give Buffy up so easily. She was a girl worth fighting for. His someone special. But maybe he would have to stake Spike first. That guy tended to get in the way.

A clear, soft laughter made him turn. And there she stood. She was beautiful, in a strange way. Dark hair flowed across her shoulders. Thin, pale face, eyes like a child. A vampire. Clad in a tight black dress that made her dainty figure seem even more fragile.

His hand reached for the stake inside his pocket, but she waved a finger in front of his face.

"Ah, now, my little soldier boy, you don't want to do that."

Her lulling voice made him relax his grip on the wood.

"That's a good boy." She smiled at him, and leant forward to caress his cheek with her cold, delicate hand. He couldn't move, lost in the depths of those dark eyes. She brought her mouth close to his ear. 

"I can see her," she whispered. "The Slayer. Burning inside your head like little pixies burning in a flame, screaming and dancing in beautiful patterns." Her head bowed down, cold lips touching his neck ever so lightly. Everything inside him screamed for escape, but he wouldn't move. He couldn't.

"And my naughty Spike. You hate him, poor little boy. He snatched your love away from you. You want to punish him."

Riley closed his eyes as the familiar painful sensation of sharp fangs breaking through skin swept over him. Then everything was new, as blackness never known to him flooded his mind, filled every last pore of his very being. A small sigh escaped his lips as his body went limp, slowly sinking down, following him into the all-embracing darkness.

Drusilla let go of the body, and with a thump, it hit the floor. She took a step back, and looked at the figure to her feet, a cruel little smile playing around her lips.

"Wake up, little soldier boy. You and me are going to play a little game."


	2. Part Two Springwater

Part Two - Springwater

"Spike? How are you doing?"

Dawn carefully closed the crypt's heavy door behind her, shutting out every ray of light from the outside. She had decided to drop in on her way home from school, to see how Spike was doing. After all he'd been through with Glory, she'd decided that he deserved at least a little 'Thank you' on her part. Also, she had a bad conscience about being so nasty to him in the Magic Shop. The teenager looked around, and finally spotted the motionless figure lying on top of the sarcophagus. She took a step nearer - and backed away, her hand flying to her mouth.

"Oh my god," she whispered, as she stared at the beaten vampire in pure shock. She hadn't imagined it to be this bad. Spike's face was covered with bruises and cuts. The torn T-shirt revealed some serious wounds as well. _What did she do to him?_

The vampire stirred, sensing her presence. She gasped at the sight of the hole in his chest. _As if a finger… no!_ He opened his eyes, slowly, and looked in sleepy surprise into her horrified face. After one night of healing, he could at least use both of them again. He sat up, ignoring the fact that his whole body was aching, and glanced at his unsuspected visitor.

"Niblet?"

"This is my fault…" she whispered, tears building up in her eyes.

"What?" he asked in confusion, still not fully awake.

"All this pain… it's my fault…" Dawn began to cry.

His face changed as her words hit him. Concern, sympathy, liking. The peroxide blond man jumped off his stony bed, briefly wincing at the pain this brought with it. He walked over to the crying girl, reaching out a hand, but refraining from touching her. Trying to make her eyes meet his, he cocked his head to one side.

"Don't talk rubbish, kid. It wasn't you who did this."

Dawn looked up, taking in every bruise, every cut on his face. "But she did this to you… because of me," she sobbed, her shoulders shaking. "She wanted the key, so she kidnapped you and tortured you, and… I just can't take it anymore. What if she gets Xander next time, or Anya, or-" she broke of, afraid to even think of Glory capturing Buffy. "I just wish I was dead," she whispered.

Rage shot through Spike, and he grabbed Dawn's shoulders. 

"Don't say that," he said firmly. "Never say that."

The girl simply broke down. She flung herself into the surprised vampire's arms and buried her face in his chest, her body shaking with heartbreaking sobs. Spike stood frozen for a moment, then, hesitantly, he brought his arms around her in a gentle embrace, holding the crying teenager until, after what seemed like an eternity, he felt her grow calmer. He backed away a little, and gently lifted her chin with his hand.

"Feeling better?" he asked softly.

"Yes. Sorry," Dawn whispered, avoiding his eyes.

"Nothing to be sorry about, pet."

They both stood in embarrassed silence for a moment, then Dawn walked over to the sarcophagus and sat down, dropping her bag beside it. Spike eyed her irresolutely, but took a seat beneath her. She sighed.

"I wish mom was here."

He looked at her sympathetically. 

"I know, pet. We all do."

They fell silent again.

"Spike? Can you tell me a story?"

"A story?"

"Yeah, like, a bedtime story?"

Spike glanced at Dawn. "Bloody hell, Niblet, it's early afternoon. Hardly time for a bedtime story, unless you're about two years old."

"But, you know, me being the key, I'm about six months old. So please, can you tell me one?" she pleaded. "Mom used to do it when I-" The girl broke off.

The vampire sighed. "Pet, what makes you think I know any sodding bedtime stories? When _I_ put someone to sleep, never was that of the storyteller kind. Getting what I mean?"

Dawn gave him the I-know-better look. "But you were a poet, weren't you? Poets always know bedtime stories." She grinned triumphantly, and Spike rolled his eyes. "Okay, Little Bit, you've got me there. But hey, you tell anybody about this, I'll put _you_ to sleep. Permanently."

She just nodded and leant in closer, not wanting to miss a word, as he began.

"Once upon a time," he shot her a blazing glare as she giggled, "there was a king named Corc."

"That's a funny name."

"Would you just shut the hell up and listen?"

"Sorry, Spike."

"This king lived in a great castle, that stood amidst the greenest and most beautiful meadows you could ever imagine. And within this castle, there was a fountain of such clear and pure water that it was nothing but a miracle. So the king was full of joy to have such a strange wonder in his possession; but as the people came from near and far to taste the delicious water of that fountain, he became afraid that it would not flow forever. So he ordered that a high wall was to be built around it, and wouldn't let anyone get to the water anymore. That was a great loss to the poor people who lived there. Yet, whenever he himself needed water, he sent out his daughter to get it, and he never trusted the key to the fountain's door to any of his servants, afraid they'd give some of it away. Then, one evening, the king gave a huge festival, and many lords were there, counts and nobles, and the whole castle was full of dancing and sweet music. Dishes were awaiting each man and woman who entered, and no one was rejected at the gates; the doorman called out a 'Welcome!' to everyone. Now it happened that a young prince had appeared at the festival, charming and handsome as one could ever imagine a prince to be."

"I bet he danced with the king's daughter," Dawn murmured.

"If you keep interrupting me, I'll stop," Spike said angrily. _As if this isn't bloody embarrassing enough already._

"Oh, n-no! Please, go on," she pleaded and snuggled close to him, her head resting trustingly on his shoulder. He looked down on her, and swallowed. _What did I do to deserve this?_ he wondered. 

"Well, he _did_ dance with the king's daughter, whose name was Fior Usga, Springwater, and all eyes were fixed on the beautiful couple as they seemed to glide through the hall, smiling lovingly at each other. After the dance came dinner, and right in the middle of it one of the nobles spoke to the king Corc, 'With your Majesty's permission, everything here is in abundance, whatever the heart may wish for, both eat and drink, yet I see no water.' 'Water!' said the king, delighted that somebody asked for what he had been holding back on purpose. 'Water you shall have, and of such delicious kind you won't find anything to equal that taste, and did you search the world. Daughter,' he called, 'go and fetch some in the golden bucket I had to be made.' The king's daughter didn't seem very satisfied to do such a low work today, in front of so many people. She did not dare to do other than her father's bidding; yet she hesitated, looking at the ground. The king, who loved his daughter a lot, noticed her embarrassment, but couldn't take back his royal word. He came across the idea that the young prince, who sat next to her at the table, should go with her, and said, 'My daughter, I hold no surprise that you would be afraid to walk alone at this time of night. The young prince to your side, so I hope, will accompany you.' This the prince heard with delight, and taking the golden bucket with one hand and the king's daughter with the other, he left the hall under the looks of all present."

"Spike…"

He sighed. "What's it now, pet?"

"This isn't going to end all bloody, is it?"

The vampire chuckled. "You'll just have to wait and see, Little Bit," he said.

"As they came to the fountain in the castle's courtyard, the beautiful Usga carefully unlocked the door, leant down with the golden bucket and wanted to draw some water, but the vessel grew so heavy to her that she lost her balance and fell into the fountain."

"I knew it," Dawn muttered.

Spike merely grinned.

"In vain tried the young prince to rescue her, the water rose and rose with such power that it quickly filled the whole courtyard, and he raced back to the king. The fountain's door had stayed open, and the long locked water, full of joy for its new freedom, flowed in continuously, rising by the moment, and was in the hall as soon as the young prince himself, so that when he tried to talk to the king, he stood in water up to his throat. The water rose to such height that it flooded all the green meadows between which the king's castle lay, forming a huge lake. But the king and his guests didn't drown, neither his daughter, the beautiful Usga, but the next night after the dreadful events she returned to the festival, and from then on the feast and the dance continued every night at the bottom of the lake, and it will go on until someone can get the golden bucket from the fountain that was the reason of this mischief."

He ended, and waited for a reaction.

"So the castle was flooded because the king locked the water away from the poor people?"

"Seems to be the sodding moral."

Dawn raised her head and looked at him in awe. "Wow, Spike! That was an actual bedtime story, you know that? And it was great!" She giggled when she saw his embarrassment. "Really. I'm feeling all better. Thank you." A quick smile crossed the vampire's features.

"Old Irish fairytale. Came across it when I was still alive," he mumbled.

"So this was more like William telling the story, right? Buffy told me about your past," she added, noticing his surprised look. _Already wondered where she'd come across the poet… _ "Or she rather told Willow," Dawn went on, "but I listened." She frowned. "What did you actually _do_ when you were mortal? Your work, I mean."

"Uh-" Spike was relieved of the answer when the crypt's door hit the wall with a banging sound. _Ain't I lucky that it opens to the inside? Saves a lot of money for repairing._

"Oh, bloody well come in," he snorted, eyeing the Slayer who was already on her way towards them. She grabbed Dawn's bag which the girl had idly dropped next to the sarcophagus, and looked firmly at her sister. 

"Time to go," she said.

Dawn looked defensively at Spike. "I just wanted to-"

"I know what you wanted to do. He's fine, we go." Grabbing the girl's arm, Buffy began to drag her out of the crypt, with Spike staring after them.

_Sometimes I would just like to twist that little neck of hers,_ he thought angrily. And cried out in surprise and agony as a blinding pain hit him, making him clutch his forehead for wanting it to stop. _"Bloody hell!"_

As the multicoloured dots slowly disappeared, he looked up, only to see the two Summers women left stare at him. 

"What's up?" Buffy asked, but her voice indicated that she didn't really care, whereas Dawn seemed to be one step away from panic.

"No biggie," he answered, managing a reassuring smile at the girl. "Must've been from when that bitch sent me into the sodding wall. It'll heal soon," he added as he saw Dawn's look of guilt.

"Okay. Bye." Buffy turned and left the crypt. With an apologetic look, her sister followed.

Spike sat alone on his sarcophagus, trying to figure out what had just happened. He had lied. That pain had become too familiar to him to mistake it for something else. He only wondered what had made the chip come alive when he hadn't even moved in Buffy's direction. Of course, he _had_ thought about getting rid of her, but could that be the reason for his pain? Ignoring the fact that he never really meant to harm her?

_Damn thing must be going haywire,_ he thought.

And tried to convince himself that he wasn't worried at all.

***

Glory laughed in pure delight. 

"Hey, this is fun. I think it might be even better than torturing him."

Her minions, who had been watching the vampire and telling her everything, clapped their hands together.

"A great game he is, oh magnificent one. And it is such joy to see you happy, the greatest one of all."

The goddess waved a hand. "Yeah, whatever." 

Then she grinned.

"Okay, my little lying vampy. Let's see how you like this."

As she snapped her fingers, new power shot into the chip within the vampire's head.

She was so going to love this.


	3. Part Three The Ones We Knew

Part Three - The Ones We Knew

As darkness silently made its way to Sunnydale, Spike prepared to leave his crypt. He needed some fresh blood, having drained every bag he had been stocking in his fridge. His wounds had continued to heal through the rest of the day and most of the cuts had closed, yet his bruises were still visible and made his every movement a rather painful experience. But the vampire had chosen to ignore that. Moving as usual kept the muscles from getting stiff.

A loud thump, and the door shook in its hinges. 

"Why, is everybody picking up the Slayer's bad habits?" he muttered, as he turned around towards it. Another thump, and the door flew open.

"Now, look who's come to town!" the vampire sneered as he saw the figure appear in the doorway. "You arrived just in time to sod off!"

Riley shook his head as he marched through the crypt. "Negative, Spike. It's _you_ who'll disappear."

Spike's smirk died away as he sensed the change, and was replaced by a startled expression. "A vampire?"

The soldier grabbed his collar, and slammed him against one of the columns. "Surprised?"

"Not much so. I expect one of your whores finally lost control?" The sneer returned.

A fist hit him hard on the nose, spilling his blood. "My Sire is not a whore," Riley hissed.

"Yeah, whatever. But, you know what I really like about you being a vampire? I can finally do _this_!" Spike brought his arm around to deliver a powerful blow at his enemy - and clasped his head in agony as pain shot through it. His opponent used that moment to land a punch himself, and the bleach-blonde staggered back, knocking over his TV set and crashing into the couch, unfortunately from the wrong side. The wooden back splintered under his impact..

"What, did you break your chip?" Another hard blow sent Spike to the floor, and as he still fought against the daze that filled his head, Riley erased his consciousness with a swift kick against his chin.

"That's too bad." The soldier eyed the limp body on the floor, and gave it a hard kick. And another, almost cracking ribs, for a moment allowing himself to release the hatred he had cultivated for so long. Then he reached into his pocket, and produced a stake. _Finally… and this time for real!_

"No, my boy. Not yet," A soft voice from the entrance made him look up.

"Why not? Better kill him now that he's weak."

Drusilla stepped into the crypt, and pouted as she looked at the fallen figure of her former lover.

"But there's no fun if he can't play." She smiled, and easily picked up the unconscious vampire. "And I _want_ to have fun." 

***

The mental ward was filling up faster than the hospital could handle. Three extra beds had been put into the room, and the doctors sent as many of the patients as possible home with their relatives, or even close friends, yet there seemed to be no stopping the growing streams of new victims.

_Glory has to be very hungry._ Ben shot an angry look at the mumbling patients. How much he hated this! It had always been that way: Wherever he went, _she_ left lunatics behind. That had been part of his decision to become a doctor. When you had to move from town to town, it made life much easier if you had abilities that people needed.

Even if it was only as an assistant. An assistant that happened to be on duty tonight, to handle possible emergencies the nurses couldn't deal with. On the mental ward. That he hated. The young man even had summoned a Quellor demon, but that one had only gotten rid of five or six of Glory's food suppliers. Then the Slayer had killed it, and as much as he liked Buffy, this simply wasn't fair.

The thought of the Slayer seemed to ring a faint bell deep down inside him. _Oh, no!_ He tried to think of something else, pretty little flowers, what he had for dinner, a girl - no, not a girl, for that brought the picture of Buffy Summers to his mind. The ringing grew more intense, and he grew desperate. _No, nonoNO!_ He clasped his head, under the eyes of the uncaring patients, trying to fight it down, trying to-

Trying to ignore the fact that she was wearing _cotton_ on her delicate skin. Hopefully, one of her ever-present bumpy minions would get her a dress, _soon_. Else she'd have to teach them once again the meaning of serving a god.

Glory looked around, and frowned in distaste as the babbling around her grew louder, more excited. 

"Bah! The lunatic store!" He always had to do this! Taking her places he _knew_ she couldn't stand.

"Would you _stop_ that shouting! You're giving me a headache," she complained.

But there was no holding back the patients, now that they sensed the presence of their god. They began tugging at the straps that tied them to their beds, eventually freeing themselves and gathering around the blond woman.

Glory sighed angrily as she avoided hands that were reaching out for her, but then smiled as a tall dark-haired man approached her.

"So, still up to destroy my key, aren't you," she teased as the Knight of Byzantium stood before her.

"Pretty… pretty little girl" he stammered, looking down at the goddess with a wondering face.

"I'm not a girl, you stupid-" She broke off. "Hey, are you talking about my key?"

The knight smiled happily. "Pretty, shiny little girl. So shiny, pretty little key."

Glory's face turned into a broad smile as she looked at the tall man in front of her. "So. You were worth the effort after all," she cooed and patted his cheek in delight. Then, she clapped her hands, and started to laugh.

There was only _one_ little girl protected by the Slayer. 

***

Riley leant against a tree in Sunnydale's only park. The night had painted everything pitch-black, and it was almost impossible to make out anything but mere outlines in the shadows that were not reached by the light of the streetlamps. If you weren't a vampire.

If you were, you could even sense it when someone was approaching from behind. Just like now.

"Riley." Graham's voice cut the silence that surrounded them. Riley smiled, and turned to face the man that had been his best friend since their early army days. Although their abilities had leaded them into different directions, they had always managed to keep working together. Knowing that they could rely on each other.

"Did you get them?" he asked.

"Yes. Although I don't know what you would want them for. All HSTs with an implant died when… you know."

Riley took the map with the papers and examined them briefly. "That was the end of the Initiative," he replied, and looked up. "Our glory days," he added, smiling.

Graham returned the smile. "I'm glad you're not running from the memories anymore. Although I didn't expect to see you again _that_ soon when I said we would stay for a while."

"Major Ellis and his boys looking out for demon activity, huh? Seems I have a little work to do before I can go back."

The smile ebbed away. "What do you mean?"

"I mean _this_." 

Graham backed away in terror as his friend's face began to change. "Riley-" his voice was cut off when two strong hands grabbed his head, breaking the neck with a sudden twist. Horrified surprise was still written on the face as all life left the soldier.

The vampire let the body slump to the ground. He tucked the plans safely away under his shirt, then took off towards a certain headquarter without looking back.

Time for business.


	4. Part Four A Needed Ally

Part Four - A Needed Ally

"So, who wants some popcorn?"

"Me!"

Willow smiled as Dawn snatched the bowl out of her sister's hands. 

"Hey!"

And the fight was on. The young witch looked out of the window, but all she saw was darkness. They had decided to have a girl's evening, but Tara had to deal with some family affair she didn't want to talk about, and Anya didn't want to leave Xander all alone, so it was just the three of them at the Summers' house.And if the two sisters would continue the evening like they had started it off, it surely wouldn't be boring.

"So, which film do you want to watch first?" she asked, trying to interrupt the ongoing quarrel.

Dawn's head appeared from behind the couch, where Buffy was busy showing her just who the leading Summers woman was, although of course not with full force.

"A love story! How about 'You've got mail'?"

"Nah. That one's just too sweet for me now. Don't we have some action?" the Slayer interfered.

Willow scanned through the boxes. "Uh… 'Rush Hour'?"

"Sounds okay." Buffy decided that it was time for a generous moment. "What do you think?"

"Actually, I think the Jackie Chan is kinda cute, so fine by me," Dawn replied.

"Yeah, you know, all those stunts he does," Willow agreed, smiling broadly. "You can hardly believe how old he is."

"Fine." Buffy put the bowl with the little popcorn that hadn't landed on the carpet on the table. "On we go."

***

Yawning, Dawn opened the door to her room. Buffy had sent her upstairs, and for once she hadn't argued. She had a math test scheduled for the next day, and was feeling rather sleepy after the film. Her sister and Willow were going to watch another, but 'The Net' didn't interest her anyway, so that was okay. The teenager stepped inside the room, turned on the light - and gasped.

"Hello, my little key," Glory said, and smiled at her from her place on the bed.

"B-Buffy!" Dawn screamed at the top of her lungs.

The goddess got up, amusement on her face. "Your sister can't fight me, you know. She's too weak. Come on, you and I have some gates to open." She took one step into Dawn's direction.

_"Buffy!"_

But the Slayer had already appeared in the doorway, having jumped up in alarm as soon as she had heard Dawn's first cry.

"Get away from her!"

Glory laughed. "Or else? What do you think you could do to me? You're _nothing_."

Buffy answered with lunging at her, delivering a fast series of punches aimed directly at the god's face. Glory staggered, but then caught the Slayer's fist with one hand.

"You could leave a scar," she hissed, and with a powerful kick in the belly sent her opponent flying across the small room. Buffy hit the wall next to the door hard, and let out a small moan of pain. Then she noticed Willow standing in the doorframe, staring wide-eyed at the goddess.

"Get Dawn out of here!" she ordered, and threw herself once more into the fight. She knew that she had no chance, the few blows she actually delivered having no seemingly effect on her adversary, yet all she could think of was protecting her younger sister. Not the mysterious key, just Dawn. A full force roundhouse kick sent her to the floor, once again. 

"Buffy!" Dawn shrieked, her voice filled with fear.

Buffy looked up, panting heavily. Glory advanced her fallen victim, a cruel smile playing around her lips.

_"Still!"_

Willow's voice was ringing with power as she unleashed her summoned magic. The goddess stopped short, angered confusion spreading over her face.

"Buffy, come on! I don't know how long this will hold her!" the witch shouted.

The Slayer got to her feet, grabbed her horrified sister's arm and ran down the stairs, Willow close behind, and Glory's screams of anger following them. They made it to the street, and ran on, only finally stopping when they knew some blocks to be between them and the hell god. There they just stood for a minute, panting, and trying to regain control over their trembling limbs.

Buffy looked at the others. Dawn was crying, and she didn't like the pale colour of Willow's face.

"Wh- what do we do now?" the witch asked uncertainly.

"You go home and get some rest. I will need your full power when Glory's back in the game," Buffy answered, effectively silencing every protest by adding, "And that will be tomorrow. Now that she knows Dawn's the key, we have to fight her. Before she has the chance to get at her again."

"And what are you going to do?" Willow allowed her exhaustion to show in her voice, knowing she would be able to give in to it soon.

Buffy look at her trembling sister. 

"I'm going to get Dawn somewhere safe."

***

With an annoyed scream, Glory finally broke the spell that had been holding her. She prepared to take one confident step forward, only to stumble as her legs wouldn't support her.

"That witch is so going to pay," she mumbled, rubbing her forehead as she tried to make her way towards the door. It had taken her more strength to free herself than she liked to admit, even to herself, and now she was starting to feel dizzy.

"Oh no, you don't!" she moaned, trying to keep control. But she lost, and her mind fell into darkness as her body changed back into Ben's.

The young doctor looked around in confusion, taking in the unfamiliar surroundings along with the broken furniture.

"What the hell has she done now?" He cursed silently as he staggered out of the room, wondering how he should get home without too much unwanted attention when he was still wearing Glory's tight red dress.

Sometimes, he really wished he had never been born.

***

As the silhouette of the crypt appeared in the shadows of the cemetery, Buffy could hardly hold back a relieved sigh. She was never going to admit this, but having Spike around made her less afraid of the things that were to come. Sometimes, when she had some spare time, she worried about that. Trusting a vampire to protect your little sister was not exactly what a Slayer would do if confronted with an unknown danger. Yet here she was. She kept on telling herself that this shouldn't surprise anyone. Spike had proven his strength often enough to be a worthy guardian. And for some reason, he had taken an obvious liking to her sister. Well, as much as a vampire could like somebody, of course.

"Buffy, stop dragging me!" Dawn complained and freed her arm from her sister's grip. "I don't know what we're doing here, anyway," she went on. "I thought you didn't like him."

"I don't. But he's strong, he can protect you."

"Well, what makes you think he will help you after how you've treated him?" the teenager asked in a provoking tone.

Buffy suppressed the heartfelt need to yell and turned around, facing her sister.

"He's not helping _me_, he's helping _you_," she stated. "_And_," she added, seeing the girl up to start a quarrel, "I didn't hear _you_ were so friendly to him the last time he came to the Magic Shop."

That silenced Dawn effectively. Buffy opened the heavy door, motioning for the teenager to step inside. As she heard the girl's gasp, she looked into the room. And cursed softly under her breath. Obviously, there had been a fight. 

"Spike?" she called, but got no answer.

_Great,_ she thought, _just when I need him._

"Buffy?" Dawn asked hesitantly.

The Slayer sighed. "Well, I'll have to get you somewhere else."

"Where? Willow?"

Buffy shook her head. "No. She's weakened from that spell. And it'd have to be somewhere Glory wouldn't look." An idea struck her. "Come!"

"But what about Spike?" Dawn demanded as the two sisters crossed the dark cemetery. "Will you look for him?"

Buffy shrugged. "Guess I'll have to. As much as I hate to admit this, we need him. He's the only one who can protect you when I fight Glory."

"And where are you taking me _now_?"

"Somewhere safe." 

***

The room was a mess. The little furniture Spike actually had lay around more or less broken, the TV seemed beyond repair. _Now, looking for clues…_ Since she didn't notice an unusually big pile of dust anywhere in the admittedly not too clean crypt, the vampire had most likely been kidnapped. And knowing Spike's charming self, it could have been by about everybody he knew. Buffy sighed. First to find out if this was personal or ritual. She carefully avoided every thought of Glory, not prepared to face the slight feelings of guilt that accompanied them. Everything he'd been through, it had been for her and Dawn. And as much as she liked to forget that, she had to admit she was impressed. _That was actually… kinda heroic._ She shook the thought off, not wanting to go further.

_And what is this… Miss Watson on her way._ She took up the thick leather-bound book she had spotted next to the broken TV set, and flipped through its pages. _Perhaps some magical sect left their spell book and… oh my god!_ She stared at the page she had in front of her, filled with words in flowing, elegant handwriting, and read.

'Nothing special today. Dru on her merry way with Darla to kill some prophet they heard of. Got bored waiting for her. Slew a family. Little girl had a funny aftertaste, must have been all the coal dust'…

Her eyes widened as she finally realized what she was holding. _His journal! Spike has a journal! _Somehow, she had expected his writing to be more of a scribble. She turned to another page.

'Darkness and pain: companions

Faithful at my side.

Yet not my heart does know them,

Within yourself they hide.

Lurking inside your shadow,

I know your ev'ry fear.

You never realize, though

I'm always staying near.

The bloodlust in your being,

It sometimes frightens me.

Atrocious and distorting:

What you call fantasy.

Life is for you like ashes

That crumble in your hand.

The beast in you that dashes:

You think it's what I am.

Black angels of desire

Surround you and your fate,

Put out your inner fire

And yet it's me you hate.

Vampiric me you're searching,

An animal to kill.

Don't blame me for your urges,

For it's your soul they fill.'

__

I didn't know that he still was a poet, Buffy thought for some strange reason. She looked down at the book in her hands, and almost absent-mindedly began to leaf through it again. _You are not going to do this,_ she told herself, but curiosity was stronger. As she reached the last written page, she hesitated. _This is not right_. _Even if he is a vampire, he deserves some privacy._ But her gaze was drawn to the page, and she finally gave in.

'She kissed me. I nearly got killed by that bitch of a god, and she kissed me. God, I can still feel it, her lips touching mine, so gentle, tender. Warm. And sodding idiot that I am, I pulled back when I realized that she was not my robot. Stupid. Damn well stupid. I should have bathed in it, drowning in every second that it lasted, drinking in the light that is my Slayer. The only light that is to touch me without killing me, yet hurting so much more than the sunshine ever will. Reaching into me until it illuminates my very heart, without mercy in its splendour. And all I can do is surrender to her, for one kiss, this one kiss that made me feel my love for her even more.'

Buffy stared at the words in pure shock. With a trembling hand, she reached for the nearby chair which had somehow survived the fight. She sat down, her body shivering. _He can't love me. He's a vampire. He doesn't know what it's like to feel. He can't love me._ The thoughts repeated themselves inside her head. As she stared at the porcelain doll at the far end of the room, she remembered the night Spike had first confessed his feelings to her, and Drusilla's words: _We can love quite well… if not wisely_. Drusilla… porcelain doll… _Drusilla!_


	5. Part Five Panic

Part Five - Panic

Pain. That was the first sensation he felt. But he had grown familiar to that, being the Slayer's favourite target when it came to practicing new fighting techniques for quite some time now. Although usually, he spent the following hours on his sarcophagus, letting the wounds heal. His current position felt a bit… odd. Unfortunately, it was familiar, too.

A sudden pain that hit his face with a sharp scratch made him flinch in surprise. 

"Now, now, what a bad boy. Dozing when the party has already started." Dru.

Spike opened his eyes. His sire was standing right in front of him, smiling. A tight black dress covered her body, leaving little to the imagination. He couldn't help admiring the sight for a moment. She was as beautiful as ever.

And as dangerous.

"Dru. You look stunning in that dress." Her smile widened, and he looked up. Heavy chains locked around his wrists connected him with a crane right underneath the ceiling. Huge machines were standing around them, obviously out of order. Yet not as dirty as those things usually were; no dried oil encrusted in the corners, no metal shavings lying around, only dust, which led him to the conclusion that this had once been a place for precision manufacturing. He managed a smirk, as his eyes turned back to his old love.

"An old factory. Can't say I'm surprised."

Drusilla embraced him, leaning in to him, and with a quick flip of her tongue licked up the blood that ran down his cheek, flowing from the scratch she had caused.

"This place was calling for you. Little white men put together tinker-toys like that in your head. And there's evil… old evil that died not long ago."

"So, you did this for me? I'm moved, but I really got places to be, my love. So if you would just unchain me?" He knew that this wasn't going to work, but he had to try.

She pulled away from him, waving a finger as if dealing with a naughty little child.

"Oh no, my Spike, you're not going anywhere." She stepped back, opened her arms and started to twirl around. Her feet left strange patterns in the dust as she danced, and not for the first time Spike wondered how he could ever have deserved the attention of such a dark beauty. Images of the past rose in front of his eyes as he watched her move. So many balls they had visited, so many parties, but she had never gotten tired of dancing. When he closed his eyes, he could still feel her slender body in his arms. How much he had loved her!

The movement of air next to him told the vampire that his lady was close again. He opened his eyes to take in her excited face.

"Have you wondered why I wear black, my pretty Spike?"

He could imagine, but decided to play along. _I need time… and a plan, while we're at it…_

"Why, tell me."

Delight spread across her features. "I'm going to have a funeral. A party."

"Yeah? So, where's my bloody urn?" he asked nonchalantly, and Drusilla giggled.

"Pick out the toy first. Make you strong enough to get killed." She giggled again.

"So, the damn chip is doing me a favour after all. Buying me time." _Never thought I'd be glad about this thing._ "But how're you getting it out? Cut my bloody head open and start looking?" He tugged at his chains experimentally. No good, they were still strong enough to hold him.

"Soldier boy is getting papers. And then he will get the chip."

"Riley? He's getting the plans?" So Initiative-Man was on his merry way. That was no good. With Dru, he could deal. A hundred years of experience gave him a chance against her. But Riley had never liked him, even when the boy was alive. Probably just wanted to see him dead. Not one for play, he was, rather going straight for the kill. And with the chip acting this funny…

"Poor thing," Drusilla suddenly cooed, softly caressing his cheek. "The plastic's changed and there's knots in the wires. She played with the toy because you lied."

Spike looked into her eyes, confused. "Played? Who played? I didn't lie to-" Then it struck him.

_"Glory?!"_

"She's like you," she said dreamily, leaning her head against his chest.

"Bloody bitch, I should have known! It's just her style: playing around so that her hands don't get dirty!" the peroxide blond vampire cursed, completely ignoring the fact that the god's hands _had_ gotten rather bloody when she had tortured him. "And what the bloody hell d'you mean, she's like me?!"

His sire laughed softly. "She's suppressed by her human side. But he's losing strength, and with the key, she will break him."

He didn't understand a word, but forced himself to be patient. He knew that this was the only way he would get any information out of her. It probably wouldn't help him, but he sure as hell was starting to get curious.

"Care to explain, pet?"

She snuggled closer to him, and he couldn't help feeling kind of comfortable. This was a game they had often played. If Riley didn't turn up the wrong moment, she might even let him go. But then again, you never knew with Dru.

"It's the doctor," she said. "His façade is breaking, and the inside is not nice."

"The doctor? Are you telling me that Glory's not alone in her body?" This _was_ getting interesting.

"Poor little Ben." Drusilla looked up, sympathy written on her face. "He is her prison… but she won't let him go."

Suddenly, her expression changed. Rage filled her dark eyes, and Spike swallowed.

"Like _I_ won't let _you_ go, my naughty Spike. Bury your hopes like I will bury you. And dance on your grave."

She began to twirl again, and all he could do was watch as her black figure danced around him.

*** 

_This has to be it._ Buffy had known - and hated - Drusilla for long enough to know how the vampire's mind worked. If she needed a hiding place, or simply a playground, she would choose an old factory, preferably one with chains still hanging from the ceiling. Very comfy with factories, that one. And it had to have been abandoned for at least a few months, so that it would no longer smell of humans. A place like this. CRD, Cadillac's Research and Development. Once one of Sunnydale's largest employers, but closed for almost years now. Bound to have some chains in the prototype assembling halls. _And no happy memories around here,_ Buffy thought with a shudder.

The light shining from one of the factory's windows told her that she'd been right. Of course, it could be just kids seeking adventures in the old building, or strange monks performing even stranger rituals, but her Slayer senses told her different. And since sneaking around could only lead to her early discovery…

"Sorry to interrupt you. I was just passing through and thought I should check."

The heavy steel door hit the wall with a loud bang as she kicked it open to accompany her words, breaking one of the hinges. Two pairs of eyes looked at her in surprise when she entered. But while Spike's blue ones turned to relief, Drusilla's dark orbs were glowing with anger and hatred.

"You!" the vampire snarled. "The pest that infects the blood of every man encountered!"

Buffy smirked. "Just preparing them for you. You should be grateful for that. I hear you like it when they're all covered in boils and stinking slime."

With an inarticulate cry, Drusilla charged. Buffy dodged a series of punches, and answered with a roundhouse kick that sent her opponent to the ground. The vampire's tight black dress wasn't made for fighting, and she knew that. So instead of blocking the Slayer's next attack, she simply avoided it, and raised a finger, waving it in front of the girl's eyes. 

"Buffy! Don't look at her!" Spike called, fighting to free himself from the chains that were holding him.

But she was already lost in those dark eyes, falling into a hole that seemed to have no ground. She stared numbly at the white hand in front of her face.

Drusilla giggled in delight. "Be in me," she whispered, weaving her spell's fabric even tighter around the girl, as Spike could only watch in horror.

"Be. In. Me." Her lips curved into a cruel smile.

Suddenly, her eyes went wide. She opened her mouth as if to say something, but the words never escaped her lips. With a sound that had become so familiar to Buffy over the last years, she disintegrated into ashes, little particles of dust that tumbled to the floor.

"Rather have _that_ in you," the Slayer hissed, staring at the remains of her enemy as she shoved the stake back to its usual place at her forearm._ Hypnotism doesn't work on a strong will,_ she thought, pleased with herself.

"Well, now that was something. In fact, I'd clap, but I happen to be chained up here".

Buffy looked up, and her eyes met those of a grinning Spike. New bruises had been added to the ones Glory had caused him. She almost felt a pang of sympathy. Beating Spike seemed to be the game of the hour.

"Come to save your prince, luv?" he asked, ignoring the pain for a moment to lean back nonchalantly and smirk at the angry Slayer.

She snatched the key to his chains out of the dust that had once been Drusilla, and stepped over to him.

"Just so you don't get any funny ideas," she snapped, making him wince in pain as she freed him with more force than necessary, "If it wasn't for Dawn I would have offered a helping hand."

She stepped back, and he rubbed his wrists.

"Would've loved to see that. You helping her to get that bloody chip out of my head."

"She wanted to do _what_?!"

"Just so that killing me would be more fun." He shrugged, and she wondered how he could stay so calm about his ex-lover trying to end his life. He and Dru had been together for over a hundred years, and now she was dead. Yet he didn't seem to care. That astonished her, after his little speech when he had _her_ chained up. So, she had been right after all: He couldn't love. _Not that I give a damn about his feelings,_ she thought, ignoring the disappointment that accompanied her insight. 

"Sorry. Next time I'll wait till your head's open and someone's cutting into your brain." Sarcasm was always the best way to deal with unexpected situations.

He raised an eyebrow. "Next time?"

"Perhaps Harmony gets an inspiration. I'll go tell her to." Buffy turned to leave.

No longer facing the Slayer, Spike could finally drop the mask of mockery and let his sadness rise to the surface, if only for seconds. _Goodbye, Dru. We'll meet again in hell._ He looked down at the ashes that remained of her, already hardly to distinguish from the dirt that filled the old factory. _I'll never stop loving you, my Dark Lady. But in the end, the Slayer won._

For a brief moment, he wondered if he should tell her about Riley, who had been the one to get the plans. He decided not to say a word. _Slayer's got enough problems to worry about, even without knowing her boyfriend's turned into a vampire. Better to keep quiet about that._

Realizing that he had not moved to follow her, Buffy stopped at the factory's entrance and turned to face him. Quickly, he changed back to his I-couldn't-care-less attitude. Not quickly enough, though, but she decided not to show him what she had seen. Or the strange satisfaction his grief gave her. _So, he's able to feel after all, huh?_

"You coming, or what?" Impatience radiated from her voice.

"Coming where?" he asked, already trotting towards her, ignoring the new waves of pain every movement caused him. At least it concerned mostly the same places Glory had already worked on, so handling it had become rather familiar. At the thought of the hell god, it occurred to him that this was the second time in less than a week Buffy had come to save him. Okay, the first time had been more to stake him, but suddenly he was in too good a mood to argue with her. _Slayer's come for her pet vampire, no biggie,_ he told himself. But who could say where the road would lead him if he tried taking it slow? _A bloke should take what a bloke can get. Carpe noctem._

"We've got to pick up Dawn. Glory knows that she's the key."

"Wha-? Bloody hell! And you left her alone?" 

Buffy ignored his accusing tone as they walked along the sidewalk. "I brought her somewhere safe. You're the only one who is strong enough to stand a chance against Glory except me, so I couldn't let Drusilla kill you."

Spike was bathing in the fact that she trusted him this way. _Shame I'll have to disappoint her._

"Sorry, luv. But I'm afraid I won't be any help."

"And why would that be? Spike on strike?" A thought hit her, and she frowned. "Why should it be more fun for Dru to take the chip out first? It didn't affect _her_."

The vampire sighed. _Now, she's got it._ "Yes, it did. That's why I can't help you, luv. Little Spike can't hurt anything. Even thinking of violence is enough for a headache, let alone fighting. Sorry."

"Not even demons?" the Slayer asked, startled.

"I wouldn't have gotten into this mess if I had been able to fight back. And I'm just talking about demons. Attacking a human might as well kill me now, 'cause the chip should react stronger to that."

"But how-"

He shrugged. "Dunno. Perhaps the bloody thing got broken when Glory sent me into that wall." _Only half lying. Bloody bitch _is_ the cause after all._

Buffy looked at him. "No, I don't think that's it. Remember how often _I_ banged your head against something?"

Spike managed a small smile. "So, even if I'm completely useless, I could still be your punching bag, right?" He regretted his words as soon as they had left his mouth. He hadn't wanted to share his bitterness with her. _Yep, that's the Big Bad for you. Helpless against a puppy? So let's go piss off the Slayer!_ He sighed.

"Listen, Slayer, I-"

"You can still look after her," she interrupted him. As she saw the surprise on his face, she congratulated herself to the decision she'd reached. _Bet you didn't expect that, right?_ As much as she detested the peroxide blond man, she really hated to see him that way. Almost giving up on himself. Even if she didn't know why, she wanted to comfort him. "Maybe you can't fight anymore, but you're still fast. You can get her out of danger."

She watched him search for words, and grinned. "C'mon, let's get Dawn. I'm pretty sure she's safe at the moment, but I don't want to keep her waiting too long."

"She with the witches, then?" Spike had finally found his voice again and decided not to push his luck. This side of her, actually trying to cheer him up, was unknown territory. _Dangerous_ territory. _This might not be the right time to explore her feelings for you._

"No. She's at the hospital, with Ben. He's a doctor we met a there. True, Glory's been there before, but I don't think she knows him. Dawn should be safe there."

"Ben?!" _Poor little Ben. He is her prison… but she won't let him go. _The vampire stopped short. "Are you _nuts_?!" 

"Huh?"

As he broke into a run, the startled Slayer right behind him, a thought crossed his mind.

_This might be the right time to panic._


	6. Part Six Now Or Never

Part Six - Now Or Never

Panic. That was exactly the right description for what she felt. Sheer and total panic that had risen inside her when Ben had turned into Glory right in front of her, and surely wouldn't stop with the goddess dragging her through Sunnydale's deserted streets. On their way out of the hospital, Glory had killed two security men, so that Dawn had stopped trying to get away from her, not wanting to put even more people in danger.

_She's going to kill me, she's going to kill me, she knows that I'm the key, and she's going to kill me…_

"Dawn!"

The familiar voice snapped her out of her thoughts, and she turned her head.

"Spike!"

The vampire snatched her out of the surprised god's grip, as Buffy flung herself at Glory. He grabbed the girl, and ran, stopping at a safe distance from the fighting pair, and turning to watch.

"Spike! You have to help her!"

He just shook his head.

"Sorry, pet. I can't."

Glory threw a series of punches at Buffy, but the Slayer avoided them. Instead, she answered with a powerful roundhouse kick that sent the goddess crashing into a car. Splintering glass cut through the red dress she had put on after the change, but didn't manage to hurt the flesh underneath. Still, she let out a cry of rage.

"Do you know how much this _costs_?!"

"Sure looks like something off the peg," came the answer that enraged her even more. 

With a kick in the stomach, she sent the Slayer flying through the air, landing hard on the asphalt. Glory followed her, preparing for the final blow, but with a back flip the young woman brought herself out of her range. The god had changed to full-power mode, and Buffy knew that without help, she had no chance. Willow had managed to stop her, but the witch was not there, and Spike couldn't do anything with his chip going haywire. When Glory's fist hit her hard on the jaw, making her stagger backwards, she knew that this was going to be her end.

Spike watched the fight, clenching his fists. He hated the feeling of being helpless, doomed to watch his Slayer die by the hands of that bitch. There was no way Buffy could win. Glory was just too strong, and as a god, she was also immortal. If only there was something he could _do_! But even if he only thought of fighting, he could feel the headache approach him. It had to be the same way Ben felt when Glory took over his body. Only that killing something would now most likely kill the vampire himself, whereas Ben shouldn't have any problems with that. Ben… Spike's eyes widened as a thought struck him. Dru had called Ben Glory's human side. And humans were mortal. He only had to make the mortal surface again... Dawn! The doctor liked her, and she was the key. Even in human form, she had to have _some_ power. _Stop thinking, bloody well _do_ something!_

Spike turned to the girl next to him.

"Dawn! Call Ben!"

"What?" Dawn eyed the vampire as if he had lost his mind.

"_Do_ it, Little Bit! Trust me!" he yelled.

The girl looked back at the ongoing fight. It was clear to see now that her sister wouldn't win. A powerful blow sent the Slayer to the ground, struggling to get up. Dawn cleared her throat.

"Ben," she called.

"Louder, kid!"

"Ben! _Ben_!" Dawn yelled as loud as she could.

Glory had grabbed Buffy at the collar of her shirt, raising her fist to discover the final blow - as she stopped. She let go, the panting Slayer collapsing to the ground, and clasped her head.

"No! _No!_ Not now, you stupid idiot!"

"BEN!" the girl screamed on top of her lungs.

The goddess let out a cry of pure anger that turned into one of pain and confusion as a male voice took over, as the body changed. Ben stood there in Glory's tight dress, looking in terror at Buffy, who lay at his feet. And Spike took what he knew was the only chance he had. He leapt forward, crossing the distance between him and the young doctor with few wide steps. Before Ben could react, the vampire grabbed his head with both hands, and with a sharp turn broke his neck. A searing, blinding pain shot through his head, worse than anything he ever experienced before. He screamed in agony, and fell to his knees. The pain wouldn't stop, and suddenly it felt as if something in his head was on the verge of exploding. When it did, it sent out waves of blackness, and Spike surrendered. With a final cry, he collapsed, and lay still.

"Spike!"

Dawn ran over to the fallen vampire, shaking his shoulders. 

"Buffy! What's wrong with him?" The girl looked over to her sister, who had finally managed to get back to her feet. The Slayer examined the dead young man lying in front of her, refusing to feel sorry for him. _If he had told us… we could have done so many things different, if only he had told us…_ Then she looked at the unconscious Spike.

"It's his chip," she said finally. "It's been working wrong for some time." 

"But he's not…" Dawn drew in a deep breath. "Is he dead?"

"No. He would be dust by now." The teenager swallowed at her sister's statement. "But he's killed a human. Even before, the chip would have reacted quite violently."

"What do you mean?"

Buffy looked the young girl straight into the eyes.

"I don't think he'll wake up."

***

Riley knew that something was wrong when he saw the broken door. During the short time he had known his Sire he already had realized that she loved to play. Her insanity turned every plan he made into a twisted little game, but even for her it was unlikely to destroy the entrance to their lair. Filled with suspicions, he neared the doorway, and peeked inside the factory hall. Seeing no one, he took the risk of stepping inside.

The chains that had held Spike were hanging loosely from the crane. Not far from them, dust slightly darker than the rest that filled the hall had settled. Not hard to figure out what had happened. While he had gotten rid of the danger that Major Ellis and his men had been, Drusilla's foolish plans of removing the chip before the kill had cost him his revenge.

With a force that was summoned by anger, Riley threw the useless map that contained the chip's every detail on the floor, and stormed out of the factory.

It was time for a new plan.


	7. Part Seven Truth And Discovery

Part Seven - Truths

The sound of his telephone ringing dragged Xander out of his sleep. He looked at the alarm clock on his bedside table, and cursed under his breath. 4:58 am. Beside him, Anya moaned and turned under the blanket. He reached for the receiver, and picked it up.

"This better be important," he yawned.

"Xander? I need your help."

"Buffy?"

***

Dawn had distracted the hospital's personnel while Buffy and Xander had carried Spike in - through the back entrance. Now the unconscious vampire was lying on a bed in a small examination room.

"Okay," Xander panted, "Explain again. _What_ do we do now?"

Buffy sighed. 

"I'll go get Dr. Kriegel. He's the one who operated mom's tumor. I will make him remove the chip. Dawn will call Willow and Tara, so that someone can bewitch him to forget everything, while you stay here with Spike. Just in case."

"Right. And once the chip is gone, he won't kill us because…" The young man looked at his friend expectantly.

"Xander, he endured Glory's torture without betraying Dawn. He knew he could _die_ if he attacked a human. And still he killed Ben, to save Dawn and me. He helped us out so many times I can't even count them. Think of that episode with Tara's family, and how he proved that she was no demon. Did it look to you as if he was hitting her with full force or if he was just proving a point? I think he was right about what he told me. It's not about the chip, not anymore. He's _changed_, Xander. What else does he have to do to prove it?"

The young man didn't look convinced. But he gave in.

"Okay, Buff. You're the Slayer, you're the boss. You go get that doctor, I'll watch deadboy jr.'s sleep."

Buffy flashed him a brief smile, then turned to leave the room.

"Dawn."

"Yeah." The girl jumped down the table she had been sitting on, and followed.

Buffy left her sister at a pay phone in the corridor, while she herself stepped over to the information desk near the main entrance.

"Dr. Kriegel, please," she told the nurse. "It's urgent."

The woman looked at her suspiciously, but made a call for him anyway.

After a few minutes, the doctor arrived.

"Miss Summers. What can I do for you?"

"I have to ask you a favour," she said, making a helpless face.

"Well, what is it?"

"A friend of mine. He's got a problem. Please come with me," she answered, turning towards the corridor, where Dawn was waiting.

"Miss Summers, I'm not sure-" Kriegel began.

"Please," the Slayer interrupted him. He sighed, and followed her to the examination room. Buffy closed the door behind him, nodding to Xander, who shrugged.

"Not even a stir."

The young woman returned to her usual confident face as she eyed the doctor. 

"This is your patient."

Seeing the pale colour of Spike's skin, Kriegel hurried over to the man - and backed away, drawing in a sharp breath.

"This man is _dead_!" he said accusingly.

"No, he's not. He's a vampire. This is more like a coma," Buffy answered.

"A…" Kriegel looked at her as if she had lost her mind.

"There's a chip inside his head," she carried on, ignoring his gaze. "I want you to remove it."

"Uh… yes. Just let me… try to get an OP…" The doctor stepped over to the door, but was stopped by Buffy's firm grip.

"You even _try_ to call security, you'll be very sorry." She increased the pressure on his arm, until he winced. Then she let go. "Understood?"

He nodded, massaging his arm.

"Listen, I don't know how you imagine this to go. If he really is not dead, I can't just open his head and try my luck."

"Well, then what about X-ray?" the Slayer asked.

"Yes, I will have to use that anyway to locate that chip, but that won't tell me how it works. Does it have any influence on his behaviour?"

She simply nodded.

"Well, then there must be at least one direct connection to the brain, maybe more. Severing it might cause serious damage."

Inside Buffy's head, something went _click_. If Drusilla had wanted to remove the chip, she surely had known it couldn't be done that easily. Her insight would have told her. And knowing the vampire, turning Spike into a vegetable before killing him would have seriously spoiled the fun. So, Dru either could see the mechanisms so clearly that she worked it out by herself. Or there had to be some kind of plan, material on the chip. She turned to Kriegel.

"If I get you the plans of this chip, will you be able to get it out?"

The doctor shrugged.

"Once I knew where the connections are, most likely."

"Good."

Buffy turned to Xander, who had been eyeing the scene without any comment.

"If he tries to get away, stop him. But make sure not to break his arms," she ordered, and the doctor went pale. "I'll be back soon."

Xander saluted.

"Okay. But are you sure this will work?" he asked. _Or should_, he added to himself.

"Yes. And don't worry: Spike will be no problem."

The Slayer turned, and left the room. Kriegel eyed the young man who was his watch uneasily.

"So," Xander started, "When did you decide you wanted to cut into other people's brains?"

***

Buffy entered the factory through its broken door, and spotted the map on the floor almost immediately. _That wasn't there when we left._ She sighed. This was just great. So Dru had been accompanied by at least one minion, and if there was one thing the Slayer didn't want to do right now, it was dealing with another lunatic.

When she reached the map, she took it up, quickly flipping through the pages. And what she saw made her swallow.

This was every last bit of information about the chip one could possibly ask for. Not only the plans, but also a detailed description of the way it worked, along with a history of development. There were almost ten pages just about the background of the concerned scientists. This was Initiative material.

Buffy felt a terrible cold rise inside her.

Of all the Initiative's former members, she knew only one who would possibly help a vampire.

***

The Scoobies had made themselves comfortable in the waiting area, and couldn't help a slight feeling of déja-vu. They had spent hours of nervous waiting when Joyce' tumor had been removed, and although the ties to the vampire weren't as tight as those to the late woman, it didn't really feel different. Even Xander, who still pretended he didn't like the guy at all, couldn't help a slight feeling of worry. Buffy had been right: Spike had proven himself as a worthy member of the gang not only once, and not all of it had been by force of the chip. He sighed, and Anya snuggled closer to him. The ex-demon had turned up at around eight o'clock, getting the information about where to find Xander from Giles, who had stayed at the Magic Box to run his business. Willow and Tara had arrived not long after Dawn's call, the red-haired witch still tired from her earlier display of magic against Glory.

Glory. They couldn't believe that the hell god was really gone, thanks to Spike. The fact of her being Ben had been an even greater shock. Nobody had associated the nice young doctor with the furious and unpredictable goddess. Nobody except the vampire, and they still didn't know how he had figured _that_ out.

Dawn checked the clock again. 01:07 pm. Seven hours since the operation had started.

"What takes them so long?" she asked, not for the first time.

"They have to get the chip out of him without severing the connections. That means they have to look for the contact points, and this takes some time," Buffy answered like she had before.

"Do you really think he won't kill us once the chip is gone?" Willow looked at her, uncertainty written on her face.

"He knows I'll stake him the second he tries. But I don't think he would."

Once again, uneasy silence fell over the waiting group. Until they heard the nearby doors swing open, and got up as they saw the one they had been waiting for.

Spike appeared in the doorway, walking towards them. _Funny,_ Buffy thought, _if I didn't know better I'd say he looks as uncertain as the others do._

"Spike!" Dawn exclaimed and jumped up, running over to the vampire and hugging him tightly. "You're okay!"

He smiled at this display of affection, and the Slayer could almost feel the relief that went through her friends. Everybody could see that he really liked the girl, and that surely proved the change inside him. Xander relaxed, Anya patted him on the shoulder, and the two witches just smiled.

The door opened again, and Dr. Kriegel approached the group.

"The chip has been thoroughly removed," the doctor stated, and smiled. "This has been the most fascinating operation of my whole career. I can't wait to write an essay on this."

"Yes, doctor, I'm sure this was very exciting for you," Buffy said and nodded towards the witches. 

Tara and Willow had been waiting for this. Moving their hands simultaneously, they muttered a few words in a language nobody of them understood, except maybe Anya, and finally clapped their hands together.

"Assia Raneh!"

The doctor blinked, and then looked at Buffy, surprised.

"Miss Summers. Can I do something for you?"

"No," she answered. "We're just visiting a friend."

"Oh. Well then, you'll surely excuse me." Saying this, Kriegel turned, and walked away.

"Everybody who took part in the operation will forget," Willow said proudly.

"Good." The Slayer turned to face the vampire, and nearly gasped in surprise when she saw Xander reach out his hand.

"Welcome back," he said. This was a peace offer if she ever had seen one.

Spike looked at the man in front of him for a second, then he took his hand, shaking it.

"Thanks," he answered simply, and Buffy couldn't help smiling. _Something like this you don't see every day._

"Spike." At the sound of her voice, the vampire turned towards her. "I need to talk to you."

"Whatever you want, luv." He followed her down the corridor, where she stopped when she knew her friends to be out of earshot.

"I won't say 'thank you'," she began. "You helped me, I helped you. We're quits." 

He nodded slightly.

"So, what is it you want, Slayer?"

"I want you to answer a question. I want to know who it was that helped Dru."

Spike looked her straight into the eyes, then sighed.

"I guess you already know that."

"Riley."

"Yes. And there's something else you have to know." The peroxide blond man eyed her sympathetically. "He's a vampire."

"Oh my god," she whispered. _Riley…_

"I'm sorry. Dru turned him."

Buffy didn't care if her friends were watching as she started to cry.

"This is my fault."

"No, that's not true…"

"Yes, it is," she sobbed. "If he hadn't come back for _me_, this wouldn't have happened to him!"

She started to sob uncontrollably, and Spike took her in his arms, desperately wanting to soothe her. He gently stroked her back, and for a moment, she allowed herself to snuggle up to him, taking in the comfort of his embrace.

"Shhh. It's gonna be alright, luv," he murmured.

"Alright?" She pushed the surprised vampire away. "Nothing is right! Now I have to kill him, don't you see that?" she yelled, and stormed off.

Avoiding the questioning gazes of the Scoobies, Spike sighed. For a second he had thought he'd gotten through to her. Obviously, he had been wrong.

***

Buffy entered the Initiative's caves with determined steps. She could do this. She had killed a man she loved before, she could do it again. And it was no use hesitating. _Better end this right now._

"Riley!" she yelled. "_Riley_!"

He stepped out of the shadows, smiling.

"So. Your vampire lover finally told you about me, yeah?"

"He didn't, and he's not my lover," she snapped. "I'm not like you. Humans are enough for me."

Riley's smile only widened.

"Ouch. Still angry 'bout that, are you? Can't blame you. So, you figured it out for yourself?"

"Wasn't _that_ difficult," the Slayer answered. "You always hide up here."

The vampire nodded.

"You always were a smart one, Buffy." Suddenly, he grinned. "Although, coming here alone wasn't _that_ clever."

His first punch caught Buffy by surprise, slamming her hard against the cave's wall. Fighting the sudden dizziness, she ducked the next blow, and answered with a powerful kick in his stomach. But Riley hardly seemed impressed at all; he grabbed her leg and swirled her around, sending her to the ground. Before she had the time to get up, she felt his weight on top of her, his knee on her neck. She struggled to free herself from his grip, but as he just increased the pressure on her neck, she gave up and lay still. _He is strong…_

"And what are you going to do now?" she uttered, "Kill me?"

"No. Not yet," was the casual answer.

His whole weight was on her chest now, making it hard for her to breathe. Black dots appeared before her eyes, twirling, growing.

As the body underneath him relaxed, Riley allowed himself a pleased grin. No, he wouldn't kill her yet. He still wanted his revenge, and she was the fastest way to get it.

_Let's see if I can still set up a trap._


	8. Part Eight Losing A Lover

Part Eight - Losing A Lover

"Spike!"

Dawn burst into Spike's crypt, where the vampire was busy cleaning up the mess his fight with Riley had created. He looked up from the remains of his couch.

"Hey. What's the matter, Little Bit?"

She looked around frantically.

"Is Buffy with you?"

He snorted, and reached for his cigarettes on top of the broken TV.

"Nope. Slayer's not here." _As if she would._

On the verge of tears, the teenager looked up at him.

"But she hasn't come home from the hospital this afternoon. And now it's been dark for almost three hours, and I've been everywhere, but I can't find her!"

Spike shrugged.

"Well, probably just needed some time off. Gone to watch a movie, or- Riley!" His eyes widened as realization struck him.

"Riley?" Dawn asked, confused. "But he's gone."

"He's back." The vampire began to pace the room, worried.

"Well, that's not bad, right?" the teenager began. "I mean, he loves her, and-"

"He's a vampire," Spike interrupted. "Listen, I want you to get the Scoobies. Go check the caves of the Initiative, I'll take the factory. Understand me?"

The stunned girl could only nod.

"Then _go_!"

***

_I wonder if this is in the job description. 'And every now and then you'll experience the wonderful sensation of coming round chained up to something'._

Buffy opened her eyes, and wasn't very surprised to find herself in the exact spot Spike had been held captive before, facing the factory hall's entrance.

"Oh. You've repaired the door."

At the sound of her voice, Riley, who had been examining one of the machines in front of her, turned around.

"I didn't like the thought of everybody watching." He smiled, and her heart sank. _He will kill me. He is completely insane, and he will kill me._

"Not very original place, is it?" she asked, tugging lightly at her chains.

"It won't be for long." He shrugged. "Now, isn't this place fascinating? There are even some prototypes left, and I found a robot that looked like a demon a few rooms further. Shame it's broken."

"Always the one for a new toy, right? But I'm more interested in the reason why this won't be for long," Buffy answered. _If I know how he's going to kill me, maybe I can figure out a plan._

"It's simple. Spike will turn up and try to save you. I will kill him, and you can go."

"You're letting me go?" she asked, startled. "Why, 'cause it's more fun to _chase_ the Slayer?" 

"No. It's a vampire I'm after, not the Slayer. Not you, Buffy." The soldier sighed. "I came back for you, you know. Thought we could start again. And know what's funny? I still love you, even now."

"You're a vampire, Riley."

"I know. And that's all you see, right? I might finally be your equal in strength, but still it's not enough for you."

"Riley-"

"No. I was never enough for you, we both know that," he interrupted her. 

"That's not true!"

"Yes, it is! Whatever I tried to reach you, you were always one step ahead!" Riley shouted. "And now I'm back, and look what's become of me! Strength, power, all that is mine, and still you will always regard me as inferior to you! Because I'm a vampire, and vampires can't love, right? Now let me tell you something, _Slayer_," he built up in front of her and waved a finger under her nose, "It's not in the soul. It's in the heart, in the _blood_, in every fibre. A soul means conscience, but the _feeling_ is somewhere else. I knew that even before I got turned, but you just don't see it, do you?"

"And who taught you that?" she snapped. "Your vampire whores?"

"Who else would have done when you never let me in, when you pushed me away from you!" he yelled.

"So it's my fault once again, isn't it? Well, Riley," Buffy began to shout herself, "If it hadn't been for all the inferiority complexes you were _feeling_, you wouldn't have had to leave me all alone and crying over you _at all_!"

He stared at her, then ran a hand through his hair. "Okay, enough of this. We'll just wait for Spike and get over with it. Wonder he hasn't turned up yet."

She accepted the change of topic. She felt ill. Arguing with Riley had always done that to her, but this time, it was even worse. Because she knew there would be no making up this time.

And because she knew she would have to kill what had become of the man she loved.

"Why do you think he would come for me, anyway? The chip is gone." Just keep talking. Talking made her stop thinking. And right now, she didn't want to think.

Riley snorted and shot her an angry glare.

"You got to be kidding. He will do anything to save you. The guy loves you."

"You _knew_ that?" She looked at him, shocked surprise written on her face.

"That's why I never trusted him." Riley answered simply, and Buffy fell silent.

If Riley had known that Spike had feelings for her… Then he had developed them a long time before he confessed them. Drusilla's words came to her: _I knew, before you did. I knew you loved the Slayer._ How long had it been? Even when he came back to Sunnydale for that first time, before Angel had left her, did he already feel something? _He's a vampire! He doesn't have a soul! He can't love, it's just impossible!_ But even to her, those words suddenly sounded hollow.

A loud bang snapped Buffy out of her thoughts. She looked up, just in time to see the door crash against the wall and Spike appear in the entrance. Riley turned, and grinned.

"Now, that's a way to enter."

"Learned it from the Slayer."

Spike began to walk towards the two of them, but stopped when Riley took a stake, and held it against Buffy's throat. She froze, barely daring to breathe. Whatever her boyfriend had been before, now he was unpredictable.

"Now, I know these things are for killing the likes of us, but I bet she wouldn't feel too well, either."

"So what do you want?"

"You." The soldier reached behind his back and produced another stake, throwing it over to the peroxide blond vampire, who caught it in mid-flight and looked at it, surprised.

"You stake yourself, and your honey can leave."

"Isn't she supposed to be _your_ honey?" The trademark sneer appeared as Spike began to play with the wood in his hands. "Or are you _still_ not man enough to satisfy her?"

Buffy looked from one to the other. She had the strong feeling that this wasn't the first discussion of that kind.

"I'm more man than you'll be after you used _this_," Riley retorted, pointing towards the stake. "And you will do that _now_, or else there'll be a new Slayer pretty soon." 

The sneer disappeared from Spike's face as the soldier pressed the stake against Buffy's throat, the sharp point cutting into the flesh. A single drop of blood appeared

"I mean it." 

The peroxide blond vampire nodded, and raised the stake, meeting Buffy's gaze. Her heart seemed to stop when she saw the look in his eyes. _He is serious!_ Next to her, she heard Riley laugh softly, his voice ringing with expectation. Spike turned the stake, its tip now pointing at his heart. As she saw the muscles in his arm tense before the move, something inside her screamed. _No!_

The Slayer brought her legs up in a desperate kick, more surprising the tall man next to her than actually hurting him. But that short moment of distraction was enough: With the experience of one hundred and twenty years, Spike threw the stake, sending it spinning through the air. With a sickening thud, it hit Riley's chest.

"I'm sorry," Buffy whispered as the vampire turned to dust.

Spike walked over to her, and opened the chains with the key he picked up from Riley's remains.

"Buffy-"

"And what did you think you were doing?" she hissed, snatching her hand back from his light touch.

"Why, I think you would have enjoyed the sightof me turning to dust," he replied, offended.

She slapped him hard across the face, then pointed a trembling finger at the startled vampire.

"If you ever, _ever _do something like this again, I'll stake you myself!"

She turned, storming out of the hall and leaving a speechless Spike behind.

_I don't have to understand that now, do I_


	9. Part Nine When I Realized

Part Nine - When I Realized...

One week had passed since Dawn's last visit to Spike's crypt, when she had been looking for Buffy. She wasn't even sure if the vampire was still there, now that the chip was finally gone. And with her sister being pretty worn out, she hadn't found the time to check.

But now she was closing the heavy door behind her, looking for a sign of the man she had come to regard as her cool older brother. The broken furniture had gone, leaving the room to look even emptier than before. The TV was still there, but she could see some wires hanging out of the back. Hesitantly, she took a step forward.

"Spike?" she called softly, but no response.

There was no blanket on the sarcophagus, and the teenager was starting to feel disappointment rising inside her. She could understand that he wouldn't have stayed, nothing was holding him in Sunnydale any longer. Yet, she couldn't help feeling betrayed. She had thought they were friends, and he didn't even bother to say goodbye. But she had to make sure.

"Spike? Are you there?"

When she heard nothing, she turned around to leave. _Perhaps he'll write…_ She tried not to think about how much she would miss him, as a rumbling sound made her spin around. A large stone in the back of the crypt seemingly lifted itself, then a bleach-blond head appeared in the opening. Spotting her, one of his brief smiles crossed Spike's face.

"Hey, Niblet. Thought I heard something," he said.

"Spike!" Dawn grinned happily as he climbed up and closed the hole. He looked at her, surprised with this amount of delight.

"What's with it, pet?"

"I thought you had left," she answered.

Every trace of a smile disappeared. Spike reached into his pocket, producing a packet of cigarettes. He lighted one of them, before tossing the packet onto his sarcophagus and sitting down. 

"No," he said simply, letting out a puff of blue smoke.

The girl hesitated, sensing that something was wrong. But then she walked across the room, sitting down next to the vampire.

"Are you alright?" she asked, looking up at him.

He avoided her gaze, and nodded.

"Completely healed. No sodding bruise left."

_That's not what I meant,_ she thought.

"And what are you going to do? I mean, now that your chip is gone."

He shrugged. "Dunno. Maybe go looking what's been going on in good old England. Back to the roots, that kind of rot."

"And wreaking havoc once again?"

"Don't feel like it right now, pet." With a sigh, Spike flipped his cigarette away. "How's Buffy?"

_I think we're closing in on the problem._ "She cried a lot, 'cause of Riley, but I think she's gotten over it. Didn't mention him at all yesterday. And the pictures are gone again."

"Did she say something about me?"

"No." Dawn couldn't help feeling sympathy for the vampire. His voice was low, as if he didn't really care, yet she could hear the suppressed feelings behind his words. Spike still loved her sister, but it seemed like he had given up hope.

He nodded, obviously not surprised. She could almost see him plan his route to the nearest airport in his mind, and that scared her. He was her friend, and she didn't want him to leave.

"Spike? You wanna come over tonight?" At his surprised look, she added, "We could watch a movie."

"Don't think Big Sis would like that, Niblet."

"She'll be on patrol," Dawn said quickly. "Please, Spike. This is the first time since Glory appeared Buffy trusts me enough to leave me on my own, without a babysitter. But I don't _want_ to be alone."

Spike looked at the girl, fighting to reach a decision. He didn't want to come across the Slayer. Since it had been Dru who had turned Captain Cardboard, it would most likely be _him_ to take the blame in her eyes. On the other hand, that last week in his crypt had been one of the loneliest ever, and he was grateful for every chance to break his solitude. Besides, he couldn't see anything wrong in spending an evening with the kid. It would be the last one, anyway.

"Okay, pet," he finally said. "I'm in."

Dawn smiled happily. 

"All right!"

***

As Buffy opened the back door, the first thing she heard was a loud explosion. _I thought I told her not to stay up late._ She put her stake on the kitchen table, and listened to the sound of the TV. Now there was the rattling of machine guns, and even more things blowing up.

"Can he do this? I mean, it doesn't look possible," she heard Dawn comment.

The Slayer frowned. Since when had her sister started talking to herself? She stepped towards the door to the living room, but a new voice stopped her short.

"It _is_ possible if you got the jumping skills of a kangaroo."

_Spike! What's he doing here?_ But that was a silly question. Dawn had obviously invited him in. Perhaps the idea of leaving her alone to show a little confidence had been not so good after all. And now Buffy would have to cope with the outcome. _Why couldn't she just invite Xander if she didn't want to be alone?_

During the last week, she had avoided every thought of the peroxide blond vampire. The final loss of Riley had been enough to deal with, giving her no intention on facing her feelings for another one. Feelings she finally had to admit were there. Seeing Riley die had been terrible, and she had cried for days, but more over what they had been for a brief time than over him. It was then that she had realized that her love for the soldier was gone, had been even before. It had filled her with a mixture of sadness and relief. Buffy knew that Riley had loved her, but he had wanted something from her that she couldn't give, not to him: complete and total devotion. And that word lead her to her problem: Spike. Devotion, that was what the vampire was all about. Devoted to everything he did, everyone he loved. And every last doubt about his ability to love had disappeared when she had seen him point that stake at his own heart. For her. It had scared her.

She would have to deal with this, now.

Buffy pushed open the door to the living room, and its two startled occupants jumped to their feet. Guilt was written on Dawn's face, uneasiness on Spike's.

"I… I'm…" the teenager started, quickly switching off the TV.

"You should go to bed now, Dawn," Buffy said firmly, not taking her eyes off the bleach-blonde next to her sister.

"Yeah, okay. Night." The girl fled the room.

"I think I should go, too," Spike started towards the door.

"Spike."

The vampire turned, a defensive look on his face.

"Hey, I've been _invited_. And it's not as if I stole anything."

"We need to talk."

He cocked his head to one side, surprised.

"Talk? Why, you been thinking about me, Slayer?" he grinned, switching back to bigmouth mode.

"In fact, that's true." Her answer silenced him more effectively than any remark ever before. His stunned face almost made her smile, and she quickly gathered the strength to say what she felt she had to.

"Spike, all you've been trough… you nearly died, and not only once. Even without the chip, you still were there for me, to help me. That was when I realized that you really loved me."

Spike grinned mirthlessly. "Took you long enough, pet. And now you want me to leave the town, right? Not hanging around embarrassing the Slayer, oh no. You know what? I'm on my way. Bloody well fed up with dancing around you, luv."

He turned to leave once more, but she stepped forward, placing her hand on his arm to hold him back.

"There was something else I realized."

"Well I can't wait to know what that was." He stopped, but didn't face her.

Buffy took in a deep, reassuring breath.

"I just… Spike, never in my life have I felt that much fear like the moment you held that stake in your hand. And that scares me."

Finally, the vampire looked at her, seriousness in his eyes.

"We've gone far, you and I," he said

"Yes," she agreed. "And somewhere along the way I fell in love with you."

Spike stared at her in disbelief.

"Don't mock me," he said quietly.

"I don't! Spike, I-" Buffy broke off at the sound of his harsh laughter.

"That's not _love_ you're feeling, girl! It's excitement talking. The loss of Riley. I'm beneath you, remember? Just a soulless monster, and you're the Slayer. This can never be, that's what _I_ realized!" The depth of his bitterness made her flinch, but she had to try again.

"I love you!"

"I don't know what kind of drugs you're taking, but you better come down again!"

He shook her hand off his arm and left, slamming the door behind him.

Buffy just stood there, staring at the door._ He just… he can't just leave now…_ As she heard a soft noise from the stairs, she turned. Dawn was standing there. Buffy tried a smile, but failed.

"I don't even know what I did wrong," she said quietly.

Dawn sighed, left the stairs, and took her sister into her arms. For once being the one to spend comfort and strength. She hugged her, and then looked at her, smiling as she remembered one particular day in the crypt, when somebody had told her a story.

"Well, if you can't have Spike, perhaps you should try to get William."

The Slayer stared blankly. "Huh?"


	10. Part Ten Trying William

Part Ten - Trying William

Spike strolled across the cemetery. It had been a long night. After he had left Buffy's house, he had gone patrolling, desperately needing to kill something, some diversion from the Slayer. So he had staked four our five vampires, and beheaded a chaos demon. That one had been a personal pleasure. Although he hadn't loved Drusilla anymore for quite some time now, some grudges only slowly disappeared. _Drusilla…_

For a brief moment, he really had considered leaving the town. Go back to England, or maybe look how things were going in good old New York. They had spent a marvelous time there, he and his Black Lady. Of course, his love of a hundred and twenty years had turned to dust, literally. Yet the memories were still alive. He could go and see the old places again, seeking new challenges, perhaps even find someone new to share the endless nights with. He had never been one for being alone, the silence was something he couldn't bear. But Spike knew that he would never leave Sunnydale. Not as long as his Slayer was alive. He might have given up on winning her love, but he would always protect her. _I'm sorry, Dru. But you were right. _The girl was everywhere he went. Ever present. And pathetic excuse of a vampire that he was, he just couldn't seem to get rid of her. _I'm such a wanker,_ he thought in disgust. _Bloody chip is gone, sodding poof hangs on._

He reached his crypt, pushed the door open - and stopped short. Light. _Light?_ With mistrust written on his face, he eyed the place he had come to think of as his home. There were dozens of candles, apart from those he had already put there for the occasional use before he had managed to hook on some electric wire, and each of them was lit. They filled the room with their flickering light, sending strange shadows dancing across the walls. The vampire listened carefully. Maybe some freaking couple had decided to use the crypt as their romantic playground. _Oh yeah,_ v_ery romantic, with a broken TV set in the middle of the room and the fridge a few steps across._ But no sound was to be heard, apart from the faint sizzle of a candle flame now and again. He glanced around, still suspicious, but at the same time already pretty sure that he was alone. He entered the room.

Warm light caressed his handsome features as he made his way towards the entrance to the lower level. He knelt down, lifted the heavy stone, and with a quick glance checked the room underneath him. Empty. Letting the door slide back into its place, he looked around. No one there.

Spike got up. So, his crypt was empty, but illuminated by tons of sodding candles. _What the hell is going on?_ It was then that he spotted it. A single red rose on top of his sarcophagus. He stood stunned for a moment. _Is this… a joke? _Hesitantly, he stepped over to it. Beneath the flower laid a sheet of paper, covered in handwriting. He took the rose, before picking up the paper with his other hand and reading the first line, which was a bit separated from the others. 

'Spike. I'm not very good with words, but for you, I'll try.'

The vampire gasped as realization hit him. _Buffy!_ He lowered the sheet, to look at the rose as if he saw it for the first time. It was perfect, soft red petals shimmering in the unsteady light that filled the room. But then again, to him everything that came from her was perfect. He eyed the piece of paper in his hand, suddenly filled with uncertainty. Slowly, he raised it, drawing in a deep breath, desperately needed not for the oxygen, but to steady himself for things to come. Standing frozen to the spot, he read on, drinking in every syllable.

'In deepest dark I see you walk, you, who were once my enemy.

But every time we fight or talk, it seems you are so near to me.

I can't describe the way I feel, whenever I sense you around.

It is as if my soul you heal, releasing all emotion bound.

The light I seek, that makes me rest, it's nothing when compared to you.

For every feeling you confessed, believe me, love, I feel it too.

I love you, Spike. I really do.'

As he stood there, staring blankly at what he just read, two warm arms found their way around his waist. He didn't turn as he felt her press her face into his back, embracing him ever so tenderly. He was too busy blinking back the tears that threatened to fall.

"Bloody awful poetry," Buffy said softly behind him. "I thought you might like it."

"I do," he croaked, not trusting his voice enough to say any more.

"I mean it, you know. Every single word," she whispered. Still, he didn't move. "I love you, Spike. I don't know when it happened. I don't even know when I realized that it was there. But I know that it's real. Not excitement. Not loss. Just love."

A single tear escaped its prison, rolling down his cheek. _This can't be, I'm dreaming, this can't ever be…_ He fought hard to keep his composure, but feeling her presence so close to him crumbled every defense he could possibly think of.

"Spike?"

How long had he waited for her? How long had he been yearning to hear those very words she just said? Just now that he'd given up on her, that he'd let go of all hope she could ever see anything else but a vampire in him. He had been dreaming of this moment, imagining how it would be, what he would say, how they would kiss each other and live happily ever after. But could he trust the truth in her words? Every time he had dared to open up to her, she had slammed the door right back into his face, leaving him hurt and alone. Could he trust her when she promised that all this pain belonged to the past? Could he? _I just don't know…_

"Spike, speak with me."

He felt her body shift beside him, one warm hand resting on his chest as she moved around to face him. He stared ahead, refusing to look at her, afraid of what he might read in her eyes. Betrayal. Mockery. Love. _No, not love, never love. She's the Slayer, and you're just a bloody vampire. A soulless monster._ She could never develop any feeling for him apart from distaste. Or could she?

"I never thought I'd see you cry," Buffy whispered.

Spike began to tremble as her other hand reached up and touched the wet trail his tear had left, caressing his cheek with its warmth. She was so tender… and he wanted so desperately to believe that she really loved him, that she really cared.

"Spike, please, talk to me!" At the choked sound of her voice, he couldn't help looking down at her. And what he saw hit him harder than any blow she had ever landed on him. Tears were silently streaming down her face, and he had to touch them to see they were real.

"You're crying," he whispered hoarsely, his hand resting on her cheek. She just looked back at him, her shining hazel eyes glimmering with the light of the candles. "Why?"

"I'm just afraid I lost you." Her voice was so low that even he had trouble hearing her words. "I'm scared that I pushed you away so often that you won't let me in anymore. That you can't love me anymore after all that I've said. After all the hurt I caused you. And I'm scared that you will leave me before I even had the chance to show you how I feel."

New tears followed, and the vampire felt a wave of emotion wash over him. He looked at the small blonde in front of him, seriousness in his blue eyes as he placed his hand on the one still resting on his chest.

"I could never leave you," he said quietly. "You should know that. My heart may not beat, but I still feel. I love you, Buffy. More than I could ever tell you."

Buffy flung herself into his arms, and he held her, pressing her shaking body tightly against his own. Soon, his black T-Shirt was soaked by her tears, but he wouldn't let go of her. She felt so good, her warmth against his own coldness; she felt _right_. He just wished this could be real.

As her sobs slowly ebbed away, he released his grip, allowing himself to stroke her back. This seemed to calm her down even more, and she buried her face in his chest.

"I love you," her muffled voice stated.

Spike sighed. _This will get hard._ "No, you don't," he said. The body in his arms stiffened, and he swallowed. "I know you've been through a lot lately, the loss of your mother, that thing with Glory, and then Riley. It's only natural that your feelings get confused and you go looking for some comfort. And so easy to mistake that for love. But it isn't, pet, and I'm not going to be left behind when you finally wake up."

Buffy looked up, disbelief written all over her wet face. "Wha-"

"I won't leave," he interrupted her. "I'll always be here for you, always. But I think you'd better go now."

Slowly, hesitantly, she backed away from him. And then left his crypt with a speed as if she was fleeing. But she had turned not fast enough for him not to see the hurt on her face. It made him want to run after her, tell her that he didn't mean what he had said, but he remained still until her figure had disappeared into the darkness of the cemetery.

Spike stood alone in the candle-lighted room. Never before, he had given up so much with so few words. Never before, he had acted so unselfishly. A relationship of that kind could only be dangerous for both of them. Demons as well as humans loathing the betrayers of their races. _If only she hadn't been the Slayer, it might have worked out, but this way… couldn't put her in that much danger._ He just hoped he had convinced her that she was just going through a phase.

For he had believed her every word.


	11. Part Eleven Given Up

Part Eleven - Given Up

Spike's head jerked up as the door hit the wall with a thundering sound. It was the Slayer's way of announcing her presence, so he hastily closed his journal and stood up to face her as she made her way through the crypt towards him. She looked beautiful as ever to him, wearing a light green tank top and tight, dark brown trousers. He hadn't seen her for days, or rather nights, and he wondered what the reason of this unexpected visit could be.

"Slayer. To what do I owe this pleasance?" He tried to mask his uncertainty with politeness when she stopped in front of him.

She looked up at him, and he thought he saw a tiny spark of something he just couldn't define as she looked him firmly into the eyes, as if searching for something. Then she sighed.

"I've just come to tell you something."

"And what could that possibly be?" he asked, trying to ignore the feeling of uneasiness that started to build up inside him.

"I've given up."

"On me?" Forcing himself to smile had never been so hard before. _Idiot! This is exactly what you wanted!_ Still, the words stung. "Glad to see you being yourself again," he lied.

She nodded, still holding his gaze. "I'm glad, too."

She turned, and then, so swiftly that he couldn't even react, brought her right leg around in a kick so hard that he never knew what hit him as he collapsed to the floor.

Buffy stood still for a moment, looking at the unconscious vampire to her feet. 

"Yeah," she mumbled, "Finally come to my senses."

***

He awoke to the sound of somebody whistling, and almost immediately wished he hadn't.

"And here we go again," he murmured, trying to suppress a moan when his head started to ache. _Bound to have a giant bump. It's the Slayer who hit you, after all._

Speaking of whom… Spike opened his eyes, slowly. Only to look directly into Buffy's cheerful face.

"About time you wake up. I was starting to get bored, with your TV broken and nothing to read." She smiled.

"And what exactly is this going to be?" He didn't even bother to tug at his chains. They were his own, the very ones he had used to hold Buffy captive during that episode with Dru. So he knew this was quality work.

She pouted. "I thought this was the normal way with vampires."

Now he was confused. He stared at her, and her smile widened.

"The… normal way? What are you, a sodding butcher? Couldn't you just bloody stake me, without special treatment?"

"No, you stupid vampire! The normal way to show your affection. _You_ did that, you know." She beamed at him, and he was starting to wonder if she was finally going bonkers. In his confusion, he tried to hold on to reason.

"Didn't you say you had given up?" 

Buffy sighed. "Can I tell you something? Every time I was left behind, by Dad, Angel, Parker... Riley," for a brief moment, pain crossed her face, "I just lived my life and tried to cope. But, you know what? It never really worked." She was looking serious now, as she brought her hand to his face and softly caressed his cheek. "So, I've given up on giving up. I've decided to keep you."

"Keep me?" he croaked.

"Yes." She smiled, and raised her head. As her soft, warm lips met his, Spike let go of every doubt he had about their relationship. Who needed reason, when he could have _this_? A small moan escaped him as he leant down to deepen their kiss, hungry for more. He felt her smile, and she pulled away from him, leaving him longing for more. He had waited so long, so patiently, suffered so much…

"Buffy," he whispered, but she backed away, moving out of his reach. _Now_ he tugged at his chains, struggling to free himself from their iron grip, but in vain. _Bloody sodding quality work!_

He settled down, looking at his love in growing frustration.

"And what do you expect of me now?" he growled.

"I'm not sure." Buffy shrugged. "What's the usual procedure? Torture?"

The vampire rolled his eyes. "As if you could torture me," he snorted.

"Oh, I can." A broad smile played around her lips as a thought occurred to her. Her hands slowly gliding down her legs, caressing the soft fabric of her trousers, she reached down for her boots, and removed them. Spike's mouth went dry immediately. _She can't be doing what I believe she's doing…_Watching his reaction, she moved her hands up her thighs again, playing with the top button of her trousers before opening it. The peroxide blond man was completely at a loss for words, as she playfully led the fabric down her now naked legs to her feet, flashing a seductive smile at him before she stepped out of it.

"Slayer! What do you think you're doing?" he croaked, unable to take his eyes off her.

Instead of an answer, Buffy grabbed the ends of her tank top, and slowly, so slowly, raised it over her head before dropping it to the floor.

There she stood, his Slayer, wearing nothing but dark green silk underwear that left almost no part of her beautiful body to the imagination. Her blond hair fell freely onto her shoulders, and her eyes were glowing with an inner fire. All he could do was stare in awe at the woman before his eyes, unnecessarily holding his breath as she stepped up to him. If his heart had still beaten, it would by now have exploded, not able to hold the enormous love and adoration he felt for any longer.

"Bloody hell, Buffy…"

She reached up to caress his face again, and he leant in to her tender touch. Then an evil smile crossed her lips, and she moved even closer, rubbing her almost naked body against his own. 

"Feeling tortured yet?" she asked, but didn't really need an answer. She could feel his reaction. He moaned as he felt her soft heat meet his body, her scent surrounding him. He wanted to touch her, feel that warm flesh underneath his hands. Desperately, he tugged at his chains.

"Buffy, please…"

Spike drew in a sharp breath when she reached into the pocket of his black jeans. For a moment, her hand rested there, the heat driving him almost crazy, before she pulled it out, producing the key.

"Now, that's some place to hide the bloody thing," he said hoarsely - and moaned as she reached up to free his hands, her breasts rubbing against his chest. He heard a faint click, and the chains no longer held him.

Buffy looked up, expectation written on her face. But instead of sweeping her into his arms, he just kissed her long and tenderly. Hesitantly, his hands moved around her back, making her giggle.

"Spike, why so shy all of a sudden?" 

Spike grinned. With an unexpected movement, he threw Buffy onto his sarcophagus, the Slayer sreeching with surprise and joy. He took the wonder that was his girl – _his! – into his arms, embracing her tightly, enjoying the knowledge that he could allow himself to drift off to sleep and still wake up finding her close to him. He wanted to tell the world how proud he was to have her lying beside him, happiness filling every fibre of his body._

"I never thought it could be so hard to win a vampire," she whispered, snuggling closer to him. He laughed softly, and she loved that sound right away.

"It's much easier to keep him, I promise." He turned his head to face her. "I love you, Buffy."

"Good."

"Good?" He looked hurt. "Is that all?"

"I love you too, Spike." She smiled. "And whoever has something against this relationship will have to face the Slayer."

"And her vampire," he added.

"And they lived happily ever after?"

"Okay."

"Okay? What do you mean, okay?"

"I mean that we'll do whatever you want, love."

Buffy was silent for a moment, just enjoying the comfort of him holding her.

"Spike?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

"And what more could a vampire possibly want?"

She rose to her elbows, and looked into his smiling face. "This," she said.

And kissed him.

The End…


End file.
